Respect is Communication in relationships.
If you dont communicate, things can get confusing!
Be clear about your wants and needs.
Listen to your partner, listen to what you are hearing.
By communicating clearly, we can avoid assumptions. You can only know what someone wants by asking .
Lack of communication is lack of knowledge!
If you know what the other person wants, what they need to feel good and comfortable, you can guarantee you will both have a good experience, whether that means doing something intimate together or deciding not to.
Communicate every step of the way
It is more that just saying no when you dont want to go farther. We need to be clear at every step, from flirting to dating to sexual activity. It is important to find the words to say
Consensuality = Consent + Sensuality.
Talk together about what feels right for you both. True consent is when both people feel good about what they have agreed to. There isnt pressure or manipulation. Sometimes it is agreeing to not do something. Finding ways to come to a mutual decision makes a relationship better because you get to know each other better.
If you dont hear yes, it is no.
Too often, when a person doesnt hear a no, they assume that the person wants to keep going farther. But that is a dangerous assumption. Lots of things keep people from saying what they really want. If they arent saying anything, take that as a no. Dont wait for the other person to set the sexual limit. Stop and talk about it.
Dont assume. Just ask.
People sometimes think stopping to ask "ruins the mood". But dont assume you can read from "body language" what the other person wants. A body can react physically to touch but the person may not want it to happen. Stop and ask your partner if what you are doing is okay with them. And dont feel bad if they dont want to continue. It is not a rejection of you, it is your partner being respectful of themselves.
Only yes means yes
Saying "yes" to something is a clear way of giving consent. Simple as that. It is not about assuming a person says yes because of how they act or dress, who paid for the date, who likes who. Wait till you hear a yes. Say yes when you really mean it. Practice saying yes to things you feel comfortable with. When the hot and heavy moments arrive, you ll already have good communication going, so if you dont want to continue, youll feel comfortable stopping.
Hear. Be Clear.
Listen to what your partner says. It is easy to misunderstand each other, especially in the heat of the moment. Take time to talk. Check with each other if you are unclear about what the other person meant. Taking the time to be clear shows you care about what the other person wants. It shows respect.
Too drunk to say no is too drunk to say yes.
Many acquaintance assaults involve alcohol or drugs.
Drugs and alcohol impair our judgement. We may do things we dont really want to do. We may not be able to express our needs and wants clearly. If you plan to drink or do drugs, take steps to ensure your safety. If you or your partner or both of you are wasted, dont make assumptions. Avoid being sexual until you can make clear decisions.
If you cant talk about sex, you shouldnt be doing it.
Many of us feel shy talking about sex. But it shouldnt stop us. If you cant talk about your sexual boundaries, needs, wants, desires you are probably not ready to be that intimate with someone. There is no rush. Take your time. Learn about sex, love and relationships at your own pace. Find ways to talk about it before you are in a sexual situation.
We all have the right to sexuality without violence.
We all deserve it RESPECT!