Respect is… Communication in relationships.
If you don’t communicate, things can get confusing!
Think ahead.
Be clear about your wants and needs.
Listen to your partner, listen to what you are hearing.
By communicating clearly, we can avoid assumptions. You can only know what someone wants by asking .
Lack of communication is lack of knowledge!
If you know what the other person wants, what they need to feel good and comfortable, you can guarantee you will both have a good experience, whether that means doing something intimate together or deciding not to.
Communicate every step of the way
It is more that just saying no when you don’t want to go farther. We need to be clear at every step, from flirting to dating to sexual activity. It is important to find the words to say…
Achieve Consensuality
Consensuality = Consent + Sensuality.
Talk together about what feels right for you both. True consent is when both people feel good about what they have agreed to. There isn’t pressure or manipulation. Sometimes it is agreeing to not do something. Finding ways to come to a mutual decision makes a relationship better because you get to know each other better.
If you don’t hear yes, it is no.
Too often, when a person doesn’t hear a no, they assume that the person wants to keep going farther. But that is a dangerous assumption. Lots of things keep people from saying what they really want. If they aren’t saying anything, take that as a no. Don’t wait for the other person to set the sexual limit. Stop and talk about it.
Don’t assume. Just ask.
People sometimes think stopping to ask "ruins the mood". But don’t assume you can read from "body language" what the other person wants. A body can react physically to touch but the person may not want it to happen. Stop and ask your partner if what you are doing is okay with them. And don’t feel bad if they don’t want to continue. It is not a rejection of you, it is your partner being respectful of themselves.
Only yes means yes
Saying "yes" to something is a clear way of giving consent. Simple as that. It is not about assuming a person says yes because of how they act or dress, who paid for the date, who likes who. Wait till you hear a yes. Say yes when you really mean it. Practice saying yes to things you feel comfortable with. When the hot and heavy moments arrive, you ‘ll already have good communication going, so if you don’t want to continue, you’ll feel comfortable stopping.
Hear. Be Clear.
Listen to what your partner says. It is easy to misunderstand each other, especially in the heat of the moment. Take time to talk. Check with each other if you are unclear about what the other person meant. Taking the time to be clear shows you care about what the other person wants. It shows respect.
Too drunk to say no is too drunk to say yes.
Many acquaintance assaults involve alcohol or drugs.
Drugs and alcohol impair our judgement. We may do things we don’t really want to do. We may not be able to express our needs and wants clearly. If you plan to drink or do drugs, take steps to ensure your safety. If you or your partner or both of you are wasted, don’t make assumptions. Avoid being sexual until you can make clear decisions.
If you can’t talk about sex, you shouldn’t be doing it.
Many of us feel shy talking about sex. But it shouldn’t stop us. If you can’t talk about your sexual boundaries, needs, wants, desires you are probably not ready to be that intimate with someone. There is no rush. Take your time. Learn about sex, love and relationships at your own pace. Find ways to talk about it before you are in a sexual situation.
We all have the right to sexuality without violence.
We all deserve it…RESPECT!
